The Best of Evil Knievel Diaries – Part 2

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A continuation of our serialisation of EK’s diaries…

FEBRUARY 13

Just how does HMG do it? I mean we are now warned by HMG’s Food Standards Agency not to eat Findus Lasagne since it contains horse. The truth is that there is nutritionally nothing wrong with this lasagne whatsoever. Besides, it is delicious — particularly if you’re sat comfortably watching Coronation Street…

No, the truth is that some jobsworth has yet to stick his nose in and trace the origin of the horses in question (a typical jobsworth quality control question would be: did you, Dobbin, honestly have a happy childhood being stroked and trotting on Galway sands?). Since he hasn’t done this, he has the effrontery to say that there is risk (where of course the truth is that wherever one looks in life there is always risk — it is simply a matter of degree) in this pursuit! I expect that now tons of perfectly good food will be thrown away. This merely supports my view that whenever HMG says there is a shortage of money in the UK, that we are in fact being lied to. The truth is that when HMG ever goes anywhere near money it wastes the stuff. Incidentally, the day to get worried is when Findus’s lasagne is entirely comprised of reconstituted jobsworths — God alone knows what chemicals go into their brains. I know, I know, that is on the presumption that they have actually got brains…

On the admin front, I find that I have been grotesquely overcharged for stock borrowing for many months. There really ought to be some code of conduct laid down here. At the time when borrowing is first considered, the rate may be x but it surely remains the lender’s/facilitator’s obligation to replace such stock with cheaper stock as and when and if it becomes available.

On the wagers front, I shorted GMA Resources (GMA). This is a total farce since the market persists in looking for a completely impossible miracle — GMA itself even stresses that this is the case. There will be a 500 for 1 consolidation on 1st March, leaving the stock at, say, 30p. This is the equivalent of 0.06p which strongly contrasts to the current 0.25p. Still a screaming sell. 

Hibu (HIBU) again pointed out that its reconstruction is imminent. When the deal is detailed, these shares will surely be a lot lower than the current 0.38p. I sold again at 0.38p. There is no borrow. 

Back in the wagers department, I garnered the following comment from an informed analyst on Avanti (AVN) which reported yesterday: “Aside from the typical fluffy language, this time about nameless “major telco customers” and sales momentum building well etc, I can see nothing to change my view on AVN.

AVN’s HYLAS 1 satellite has been swinging around up there for over 24 months now and it’s still generating sod all revenue. And the authenticity of that, which is reported, is sketchy at best. So how it reckons HYLAS 2 (which has been floating around for half that time) will report material revenue in H2 is lost on me. Further, the service cost of all that debt will now kick in. And as AVN’s cash generation is already so paltry, the interest will be an added burden. I note the net debt has ballooned a further £43.3m in the past six months, to £141.5m. I’m remaining short.

Memory lane: Pursuit Dynamics (PDX) announced its further decline to death yesterday whilst Rare Earths Global (REG) announced that it is behaving ineffectually. There’s a couple of surprises. Not.

Since there is nothing much else to do, I have backed Borussia Dortmund for £35,000 at tonight’s Champions League match. Some may be interested to learn that Borussia was the Latin for Prussia.

Finally, I am not an impresario manque. But my brother and his wife attended the Royal Festival Hall on Saturday and endured five and a half hours of a silent 1927 film, Napoleon, accompanied by a musical score composed by Carl Davis. There were three intervals, two of half an hour and one of an hour and half. Yes, that’s right: eight hours all told. Attendees should surely have been awarded long term campaign service medals when exiting for the final time.

If you’d like a copy of his entire utterances during 2013 then click the image below to request your free copy.


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