THE BEST OF EVIL KNIEVEL DIARIES – PART 3
A continuation of our serialisation of EK’s diaries…
MARCH 13
The socialist, Lord Turner, of the FSA thinks there is too much gambling going on in dealing rooms. Just what does he think young men think or should think as prices gyrate? I won’t list here what goes through his mind in the course of an average day. But practical thought is not one of them. I would just remind the noble lord (incidentally, I insert the “noble” by way of a little joke) that the FSA in effect stole my £550,000. This makes me anti the lot of ‘em. Nothing new there, though.
Today is the final day of Cheltenham 2013. I am showing a profit of about £30,000 on the meeting so far (it could be worse), and I backed Sir Des Champs at 6/1 for today’s Gold Cup directly after his win at Cheltenham last year. This was too early since the price sat there for months during which anything adverse you might care to think of occurred. However, he is still available today at 4/1. The market discounts his chance on the grounds that he is not quite good enough. I doubt this view. I reckon that his trainer, W. Mullins, has timed SDC’s challenge to perfection. SDC stays, jumps and likes the ground. Further, he loves Cheltenham. ‘Nuff said.
Turning to trivia, I remark that yesterday I sold my final 125,000 of Trinity Mirror (TNI). It has been a real whizzer since I bought 1.4m at just under 30p on average perhaps a year ago, and have released them back into the wild as the stock rose and rose. Yesterday’s results statement left me feeling a little uncertain. But the clincher was the revelation of arrests in terms of Operation Weeting. These will hang over the stock for many months to come. I have made £750,000 and am not complaining.
I sold 200,000 Xcite (XEL) yesterday at 124p. This may well have been too early. But I have nicked £40,000 profit which is a good thing to do.
Last week, I promised you non-stop sex. So now you get it: for this column delivers. I was due to go to Uruguay with my wife at the end of February at the behest of Orosur (OMI). This got deferred to April and even that has been cancelled. Hence coitus interruptus. I initially feared bad news but, apparently, this is not the case. So I bought another 100,000 — this time at 36p. I had slightly resolved not to buy any more since my family is the largest single private shareholder — perhaps 2.5m shares. But I just had to.
Late last week I took a conference call from Richard Murray who is chairman of Avesco (AVS) along with his finance director John Christmas. My purpose was to ensure that shareholders would get tax-efficient distributions of the 140p a share special dividend to be paid when Disney cough up. I just do not go along with 45% marginal rates of tax. I am delighted to report that the board are on the case and we merely get shafted for 28% CGT. However, I could not help myself and remarked that Mrs Christmas must be delighted even though Christmas had come early. I took the silence at the other end as agreement.
It’s quite simple: when one goes into a strip joint a woman appears in front of one and takes off her clothes. Your £30 has been spent. But allegedly at Cupid (CUP) they felt their offering was not sufficient to get the £30. So it is argued they arranged fake responses to applicants over the internet for women, such that the applicants thought they were getting somewhere. Thus stimulated, they paid their £30 so as to get the contact details. Very shortly afterwards, these “women” disappeared. Indeed some may even have been men typing as if they were women (the applicant got the photo of a woman to accompany the text). Allegedly, even computer robots, presented as women, issued responses on behalf of Cupid. As far as I am aware, relatively few computers boast breasts.
Finally, heard on the street, I had fallen asleep by then but my wife says that, on the Graham Norton show a new word for cool has been launched. This is “Dench” (as in Judy). I find this hard to believe since it rhymes with drench and stench. We’ll see. Apparently, if you are really “dench”, then you are said to be “Well dench”.
If you’d like a copy of his entire utterances during 2013 then click the image below to request your free copy.
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