The Evil Diaries: He Can Always Apply to Join the Green Party

Evil discusses Afren, pragmatic Seattlers, and Indian weddings…

At long last Afren (AFR) has been refinanced even if the price of the new shares has not yet been decided. Given that Afren is still above 5p the market must be mad. Bondholders have no intention that current ordinary holders should get £50m. A clear sell.

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I follow with an American version of the newspaper comparison sheet that was so popular here about fifty years ago. I particularly admire the pragmatism of the citizens of Seattle:

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics
shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could find the time – and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Chicago Tribune is read by people that are in prison that used to run the state, and would like to do so again, as would their constituents that are currently
free on bail.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
11. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for.
There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are gay, handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
12. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
13. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need to wrap it in something.

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Finally, an Indian bridegroom to be has seen his marriage cancelled since in answer to the the mathematical problem 15+6=? he offered 17. This is a typical example of the vagaries of Asian arranged marriages – here the bride’s family argued that they had been misled as to the groom’s abilities. However, looking on the bright side, he can always apply to join the Green Party in our upcoming election. He would be an improvement on that party’s average intellectual ability.