Evil Knievil: A snotklap

Snotklap is an Afrikaans word meaning a really heavy blow to the nose. The Snot is clearly the same as our snout and the Klap is the same as in our thunderclap. Well, I got a snotklap last Saturday when, having won day after day on betting, I got zonked for £30,000 when opposing, inter alia, Santiago in the Irish Derby. It happens with hubris. When will I ever learn?

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There would be grounds for sacking Jenrick if it were the case that he gave a £40m advantage to Richard Desmond and charged just £12,000 he would surely have to go through commercial incompetence. But since the £12,000 had nothing to do with the £40m deal Jenrick should surely stay. No questions whatsoever.

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Told to short Metro (LON:MTRO) I took a look at the balance sheet as at 31st December 2019. Theoretically, there is a long way to go before losses absorb net equity. But the arguments against this bank surviving are strong and therefore MTRO is a short. The trouble is that I was quoted 28% p.a. on borrow and advised that that was the rate on an intraday basis. This is not a working proposition. But banks should not have shareholders who are so reluctant to hold and lend stock. This confirms the soundness of the advice to short.

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Finally, Archbishop Welby has gone mad and needs to be sacked forthwith.