The Evil Diaries: “Odd Times”

Try as I may I cannot find an objection to buying Molins (MLIN) at 60p. I have been looking for months now.

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Odd times: Yesterday, I received the following from a spreadbetting firm:

“We are contacting you in relation to the account you currently hold with us. In order to adhere to EU Money Laundering regulation, we do require additional documentation from you as your account’s lifetime balance has exceeded the value of £12,000. Upon an account exceeding this level we are required to obtain an extra layer of due diligence from you.

We would be grateful if you could please provide us with the below at your earliest convenience:

•One form of valid Identity: Passport, National Identity Card or Driver’s Licence”

The email was signed off “kindest regards”. Question: what will this author say to his wife tonight? If I were her, I wouldn’t believe him.

I did not know what the email meant. So I enquired. Here is the reply:

“The phrase “exceeded £12,000″ means that through the lifespan of your account your deposits have exceeded the amount of £12,000. As already explained in our previous email, in order to adhere to EU Money Laundering regulation, we do require this additional documentation.”

Interestingly, I have had an account at this firm for ten years or so and the total deposits are, at a guess, well in excess of £1m. I have never previously had such an enquiry and am yet again reminded of why I am voting to leave the EU. Of course the writer is just another idiot and should really be working as a spoon whittler. He has simply landed on his feet as a jobsworth.

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Finally, I listen to the BBC World Service through the night and, on Wednesday night, heard of a Lonnie Johnson, an Atlanta-based inventor of prodigious intelligence. He came up with the Super Soaker Freezefire Blaster water pistol and I ordered one for my London-based 5 year old grandson. His parents can look forward to a damp summer.