The Evil Diaries: “Now there’s a surprise”

Some readers may recall that perhaps seven weeks ago I remarked upon the fact that I, using my PoA on behalf of my brother-in-law and my London-based son-in-law, had been unable on Monday 21st December to buy Watchstone (WTG) (nee Quindell) since the regulators at Charles Stanley had decided that Watchstone was, for their purposes, a complex instrument. When of course Watchstone could not be so classified.

As a result, the two people who in effect sought to buy Watchstone missed out on a good profit.

I will not here go into the details attaching to how Charles Stanley handled matters subsequently that day. But for sheer uselessness and silliness CS have been quite impossible to beat. The matter now goes off to the Financial Ombudsman Service and we await the result.

CS emphasised that they had an absolute right to refuse to do any business that on the face of it they had agreed to do. They averred that they had no obligation ever to explain their conduct. That would even be true even if all their weird internal rules had been explained to their clients and potential clients on, say, a website. Of course they have not so been explained in this instance and, I expect, many other instances. They simply refuse to explain themselves.

I am told that their position in law is indefensible.

In the interests of fair play I asked the FCA for their comments. They absolutely failed to assist. Now, there’s a surprise.

*****

If vellum is to be the preferred medium for parliament, I suggest we bring back hansom cabs. There is nothing like the farmyard stench of manure in the street to give the authentic rendition of London. The Cabinet Office will pay. I am not sure where they get their money from but they are emphatic that it is theirs. With such largesse in attendance I feel sure that they can carry on the traditions of London.

My mind is now starting to swim with retro improvements. How about woad dips for Chelsea football fans? Or free speech lessons based on expressions of the past – “‘Pon my soul” or “Get your discarnt snuff ‘ere” or “Oyez Oyez Oyez – in your stocks tonight…”