Evil Diaries: Sweeney Todd Advisory Services

The eponymous Terms and Conditions are no part of any contract but instead an allusion to school terms and the conditions in which girls boarded in the UK from 1939 to 1979 as covered in this book by Ysenda Maxtone Graham. It is a terrific read and often very funny. £6 at Amazon. Hurry along.

There was one girl whose surname was Wegg-Prosser, snitched by PG Wodehouse. I thought that that name was entirely made up. But Sir Pelham borrowed it instead. He improved it by sticking on a first name, Oofy. All is now explained.

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How very interesting: cautious savers should be aware that National Savings and Investments offer 6.2% p.a. subject to tax. Less cautious savers can pile into that and of course Premium Bonds.

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DarkTrace (DARK) reported last week and obligingly sank 30p on the opening to 335p. But Berenburg stepped in and declared a target price of 600p. This is, I think, a big mistake. Anyway, Gabriel Grego arrives here in a fortnight and I’ll get to the heart of current thinking.

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A spat’s early days: I have got a disagreement with Natwest’s conduct. Their officer, whom I have styled a disingenuous grifter after Natwest’s term for Nigel Farage, mentioned that a benefit of being a Natwest business customer was access to business advice and tips. I declared that I would sooner take advice from Sweeney Todd on shaving than consult Natwest.